CARS HOMES JOBS

How does Santa know I’m sleeping?

Friday, December 14, 2012
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Let me ask you something …

• Which do you most believe in: A) Kris Kringle, B) The Dental Fairy, or C) that Andrew M. Cuomo had zero, zilch, nada, nothing at all to do with that brand-new state Senate coalition of bizarre bedfellows??

• If, as Bob Costas told us, Kansas City Chiefs Linebacker Javon Belcher and his girlfriend would still be alive if only he did not have a gun, then why did not “deep thinker” Costas inform us last Sunday that Dallas Cowboys Linebacker Jerry Brown Jr. also would be alive if only his teammate, Josh Brent, did not own a car?

• Given how uncomfortable to the touch laurels appear to be, why would anyone even consider resting on them?

• So, come tell Santa Claus now, have you all been good little boys and girls and has your nonprofit been approved by the local Toys for Tots distribution people?

• Will someone tell that local sportscaster, if he recalls his fourth-grade lessons, it is not “HIM and his teammates did such and such … ?”

• Yes, it remains a wonderfully patriotic spectacle, but remember when the Army-Navy game also was a matchup of two of college football’s premier teams (Staubach, Dawkins, Bellino)?

• If he sees you when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake, wouldn’t that make him at least a Level 2 offender, for goodness’ sake?

• Just wondering: What if you, not unlike President Obama, were to ask MasterCard to spare you those annoying debt limits on your credit cards?

• So what about it, no matter what your feelings about fracking, would not New York’s decision on that issue — should it ever happen — be a good gauge for college grads deciding whether to pursue their careers in this state?

• Was it not wonderful coincidence that Hiram Monserrate, one of the principals in the last coalition of bizarre Senate bedfellows, was getting sentenced to two years in the Graybar Hotel just as this latest coalition was taking shape?

• Is it not amazing how, based on post-game interviews, God always seems to be on the side of the winners and if that’s the case, does it not seem that God at least should give us all some pre-game info on what the over/under will be?

• Can it be true that Pampers is catering the New Year’s Eve wedding of 86-year-old Hugh Hefner and his 60-years-younger fiancee Crystal Harris?

• When will the Republicans realize that the cliff-diving competition is over and they did not win?

• Have the political correctness boys finally cured you of all that “Merry Christmas” sentimentality in favor of “Happy Holidays?”

• Do people who chuckled even a little bit when they first heard about that hoax phone call to Kate Middleton in the hospital now have a right to be all incensed over the tragedy?

• Sure he’s dead and gone, but don’t Richard Nixon’s heirs have grounds for a slander suit after the judge in the Hiram Monserrate case compares him with the “I am not a crook” chief executive?

• Now that President O has reversed field and decided that it is OK for corporations to cough up cash for the inauguration celebrations, don’t you wish that Solyndra could be around for all that fun?

John McLoughlin is a freelance columnist and a veteran Capital Region journalist now at NewsChannel13. Opinions expressed in his column are his own and not necessarily the newspaper’s. Reach him at JMcLoughlin@WNYT.com.

 
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