Life is often filled with questions …
Let me ask you something …
• Would someone please tell Gov. Andrew Cuomo that I am not, and never have been, related to Steve McLaughlin, the dictator-dissin’ assemblyman?
• Are you considered just another conspiracy nutjob to even consider a possible link between the Justice Department’s lawsuit against Standard & Poor’s for its involvement in the 2008 housing debacle and S&P’s downgrade of U.S. debt back in 2011?
• Speaking of Steve McLaughlin, might his intemperate remarks about the governor get him into trouble with his own Republican leadership in the Assembly, were there such a thing?
• Was it not the finest of the Super Bowl ads, the Dodge Ram truck spot featuring the voice and words of the late Paul Harvey and his tribute to the American farmer?
• Now that Gov. Cuomo is taking a hit in his favorability ratings thanks to the gun control law, has he thought about taking up skeet shooting or, better yet, skeet shoot posing?
• Was that local TV anchorwoman trying to fool the viewers into thinking it was a “live shot” when she said the reporter was “right now” at the scene of the story when clearly the reporter was on videotape — or maybe it was just a slip of the tongue?
• How in the world does a guy like Iron Mike Tyson prepare himself for the role of a violent prison inmate as in his guest appearance this week on NBC’s “Law & Order: SVU”?
• A penny for their thoughts — ehh, or maybe not — now that the Royal Canadian Mint has discontinued the production of pennies north of the border?
• I’m just sayin’, what happens if Manti Te’o gets drafted by an imaginary NFL team?
• Can you believe that some numskulls got their undershorts all bunched up because Sen. John McCain jokingly compared the esteemed Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, a would-be astronaut, with the monkey supposedly launched into space by Iran?
• And look, who’s to say that it might not be the monkey who deserves to feel insulted?
• How can you argue with the Monopoly folks for replacing the tired, old iron as one of the game pieces — but please, they go and replace it with a cat that has sinister eyes like something out of ancient Egypt when they could have chosen a helicopter?
• Here we were thinking that Richard III was badly in need of a “horse, a horse, [his] kingdom for a horse,” but based on where his bones were found, is it more likely he might have been looking for a parking space back there in 1485?
• Did I hear that right? Did I hear that Gov. Cuomo wants to keep politics out of the selection process for casino sites around the state — I mean seriously, it’s not my hearing that’s gone, is it — he actually said that?
• What, you’re telling us that it did not give you the creeps, watching that GoDaddy Super Bowl ad where the fat little nerd sloppy-kisses the supermodel?
• Can you believe that one local TV station — thankfully not mine — never bothered to inform viewers that it was using file video of convicted bomber-bully Steve Raucci to tell the story this week of his appeal, no doubt leading many to believe that Raucci himself actually appeared in the Appellate Division courtroom — amateurish at best?
• As goofy as your offspring might sometimes appear, how would you like to be the parents of that 18-year-old woman who was so smitten with a Belgian tattoo artist that she allowed him to inscribe his name in large, black letters all across her face — artwork that makes Mike Tyson’s look downright classy?
• And is this not the line of the week? That over-tanned, over-cooked New Jersey mom suspected of taking her 6-year-old daughter into the tanning booth shows up at a nightclub event, allegedly sauced, but the emcee tells the audience “her daughter is doing really well in school: she just became a Brownie.”
John McLoughlin is a freelance columnist and a veteran Capital Region journalist now at NewsChannel13. Opinions expressed in his column are his own and not necessarily the newspaper’s. Reach him at JMcLoughlin@WNYT.com.