NFL Picks, Week 15
Every year I participate in a Pigskin Pick ’em group organized by an obnoxious friend of mine from high school who spends his Sundays doing nothing but watching NFL football. I spend very little time watching football, and yet I continue to dream of beating him. And so every week I dutifully make my picks.
As always, winning teams in caps.
CINCINNATI at Philadelphia — The Eagles and Bengals both surprised me last week. The Eagles won a game I expected them to lose, while the Bengals lost a game I expected them to win. I don’t want any surprises this week. Go Bengals!
NEW YORK GIANTS at Atlanta — The Falcons have a great record, but nobody takes them seriously, and the Giants will help demonstrate why.
GREEN BAY at Chicago — After a promising start to the season, the Bears are in the midst of a second half collapse. They’ll lose again this week, when the Packers come to town.
WASHINGTON at Cleveland — If Robert Griffin III plays, the Redskins will win. If he doesn’t, they’ll lose.
Minnesota at ST. LOUIS — I’m sick of Minnesota. They lose the games they’re supposed to win, and win the games they’re supposed to lose. Technically, they should be more than capable of beating the Rams. Which means they’ll lose.
Jacksonville at MIAMI — The Dolphins aren’t very good, but they look like an all-star team next to the Jaguars.
Tampa Bay at NEW ORLEANS — The Buccaneers have followed up an impressive four-game win streak with a sad and pitiful three-game losing streak. After this week, it will be a four-game losing streak.
DENVER at Baltimore — I can’t think of a reason to bet against Peyton Manning, especially when the opposing quarterback is Joe Flacco.
Indianapolis at HOUSTON — OK, so I watched the Monday night Patriots-Houston game with the New England Sports Fan Friend, and we could not believe how unbelievably bad the Texans were. “Supposedly Matt Schaub is a great quarterback,” I told the New England Sports Fan Friend. “If you look at his numbers.” The New England Sports Fan Friend snorted derisively. “You know who’s a great quarterback?” he said. “Tom Brady.” At one point, the New England Sports Fan Friend’s 4-year-old daughter tried to get a rise out of him. “I hate Tom Brady!” she yelled. We looked at her. “Just kidding,” she said. “Time for bed,” the New England Sports Fan Friend said. In any case, it’s tough to assess just how good the Texans are, since they decided not to show up against the Patriots. But I assume that they’re a formidable team, because they have an 11-2 record. I’m picking them to beat the Colts, but it wouldn’t surprise me if Indianapolis stole this game.
SEATTLE at Buffalo — OK, Buffalo, I’m through with you. I keep insisting you aren’t that bad, but you are that bad. I’m not picking you to win again this season, I swear.
DETROIT at Arizona — The Lions have more talent, and they should win.
Carolina at SAN DIEGO — If San Diego can beat Pittsburgh, they’re more than capable of beating the Panthers.
Pittsburgh at DALLAS — If the Steelers can’t beat the Chargers, can they really beat the Cowboys?
Kansas City at OAKLAND — Ugh. What an ugly game this is. I’m taking the Raiders, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the Chiefs won.
San Francisco at NEW ENGLAND — “I guess you’re picking the Patriots this week,” my dad said. “Because you always pick them.” “Yes,” I said. “And they almost always win.” Like the New England Sports Fan Friend, I’m skeptical that a rookie quarterback named Colin Kaepernick is going to march into Foxborough and beat Tom Brady in December. Kaepernick seems like a nice guy and I wish him well, but I think the 49ers should have stuck with Alex Smith through the end of the season, and that, no, they are not going to win the Super Bowl this year. As Dan Shaughnessy said, there is only one team I fear: The New York Giants. And maybe the Ravens a little.
NEW YORK JETS at Tennessee — Here’s something hilarious: The Jets are in the playoff hunt! And they’re playing Tennessee this week, and they’re going to win, which would give them a .500 record!
Week 14 results:
Me: 9-7 Overall: 128-79
My obnoxious friend: 9-7 Overall: 140-67
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