NFL Picks, Week 13
Every year I participate in a Pigskin Pick ’em group organized by an obnoxious friend of mine from high school who spends his Sundays doing nothing but watching NFL football. I spend very little time watching football, and yet I continue to dream of beating him. And so every week I dutifully make my picks.
As always, winning teams in caps.
New Orleans at ATLANTA — OK, I am off the Saints bandwagon. They are unlikely to make the playoffs, mainly because they are incapable of beating really good teams, such as the 49ers last week and the Falcons this week.
Jacksonville at BUFFALO — Good news, Bills fans! This is a game Buffalo should have no trouble winning.
Seattle at CHICAGO — I’ve heard rumblings that consistently unlikable Bears QB Jay Cutler deserves some MVP consideration. Sorry, but I just can’t support that. Though I will admit that Chicago is a much better team with Cutler at the helm, and will be dangerous in the playoffs. And that they will beat the Seahawks.
INDIANAPOLIS at Detroit — Should be a close one, but as an official member of the Andrew Luck bandwagon, I feel obligated to pick the Colts to win.
Minnesota at GREEN BAY — Early in the season, the Vikings were one of the league’s bigger surprises. But they’re limping to a disappointing finish, and stand no chance of beating a Packers team still smarting from an embarrassing loss to the Giants.
HOUSTON at Tennessee — Another week, another win for the Texans.
CAROLINA at Kansas City — Are the Panthers gearing up for a strong finish after an abysmal start? Yes, as long as they keep playing teams like the Eagles and the Chiefs.
SAN FRANCISCO at St. Louis — This Colin Kaepernick guy appears to be the real deal. And he’ll guide the 49ers to another victory on Sunday against the hapless Rams.
NEW ENGLAND at Miami — This should be a pretty easy win for the Patriots.
Arizona at NEW YORK JETS — Yes, I am picking Team Blowhard to win, but only because they are playing the terrible Cardinals. Last week’s Patriots-Jets game was pretty much the most hilarious game in the history of earth. I missed most of the first half because I was watching “Skyfall,” and was shocked to see that the score was 35-0. “What happened?” I exclaimed. “It’s been pretty funny,” my dad said. “The Jets keep fumbling the ball.” I was sorry to have missed all the excitement, but with the help of the Internet, I was able to find footage of Mark Sanchez running into his linebacker’s butt, falling down and turning the ball over, which cheered me greatly. “It’s hard to imagine Peyton Manning or Tom Brady doing something like that,” my friend Steve observed. Indeed.
Tampa Bay at DENVER — Speaking of Peyton Manning, he’s looking pretty good. And he’ll lead his team to victory again on Sunday, against a decent Buccaneers team.
Cleveland at OAKLAND — Two terrible teams, both trying to win their fourth game! I’m going with the Raiders, but only because they’re at home.
CINCINNATI at San Diego — The Bengals and their red-headed quarterback will pick up another nice victory against the imploding Chargers.
Pittsburgh at BALTIMORE — I picked the Steelers to win last week, and lived to regret it — unless Ben Roethlisberger is playing, you can basically write the Steelers off. And the Ravens are pretty good, and should dominate a weakened Pittsburgh team.
Philadelphia at DALLAS — How exciting — the league’s most depressing and disappointing teams, facing off. I’m taking Dallas, because I didn’t learn my lesson when I picked them last week.
NEW YORK GIANTS at Washington — OK, so are the Giants doing that thing where they look totally blah for the first half of the season, and lose a bunch of games they should win, and then come on like gangbusters during the second half? It sure looks that way. The Redskins will put up a good fight, but it won’t be enough to beat New York.
Week 12 results:
Me: 8-8 Overall: 109-66
My obnoxious friend: 10-6 Overall: 121-54
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