Bert Thompson — Captain Bert Thompson — was open for business in Schenectady during the summer of 1905.
Snakes, tombstones, horseshoes and stag’s heads were all for sale. People with 25 cents or half a buck left his floating office on the Erie Canal with armfuls of merchandise.
And never got rid of them.

Bert was a tattoo artist who worked on a boat anchored near State Street. Customers learned the man used quality inks; he promised sunlight would never fade finished artwork.
The ink-slinger offered a variety of designs.
“You can have the Odd Fellows’ three links or the Masons’ square and compass, or any other secret society, for a quarter,” read a story in the Schenectady Gazette. “You can have a scene of the crucifixion for $1.50 ... you can have a big, wriggling snake pricked on your chest or back for $1.50, or you can have a thing that looks like a leech for less.”
A bleeding heart, cross and crown, stag, tombstone — dedicated “to the memory of mother” — a horse’s head and sailing ships were also on the design menu. No skulls, no demons —unless people brought their own designs to the master.

All Bert’s artwork was on celluloid. The tattoo man would shave an arm, shoulder, back, neck or chest, then place the freshly greased or oiled celluloid to anatomy. Firm pressure left an outline, and Bert then began working with electric needles.
Nobody complained about pain. “Just seems like a bumblebee playing tag with your arm all the way through,” said one satisfied customer.

Blood was part of the bargain.
“Every few seconds, the operator will stop and mop off the blood so you will not faint and so he can see where to go in his travels, and make cheerful remarks,” observed a Gazette reporter. “The work lasts according to design. He can do half a dollar’s worth in less than an hour, and could make good money if kept busy all the time.”

Captain Thompson practiced what he preached, and pricked. He was covered with tattoos, and might have perfected color forms on his wife.
“It is said that she, too, is pretty well decorated,” the newspaper said.