How many times can you say dumb and stupid without feeling dumb and stupid yourself?
“Made of Honor” may have an ounce of cute or touching moments, but it is mainly an embarrassment — the kind of movie that gives “chick flicks” a bad name.
I could prescribe that this romantic comedy from the director of the “Mr. Bean” movies and product of three screenwriters is not fit for mature, intelligent women, but then I could stand accused of possessing more than a hint of condescension.
On the other hand, I cannot tell a lie. Does the reader wish that I disguise my feelings?
Patrick Dempsey may be cute, but as presented here, he’s no comic leading man, and I think we can assume that only his stint on “Grey’s Anatomy” has afforded him an entree to a role on the big screen. (Here he comes off as a poor man’s Hugh Grant). Then again, you can only blame Dempsey for buying into this pea-brained excuse for a funny story, one in which he is offered to be a maid of honor by the girl he has decided he wants and loves 10 years after they had bonded at Cornell.
Dull and messy
That’s the setup in this dull, hit-the-ox-over-the-head mess in which Hannah (Michelle Monaghan) informs Tom (Dempsey) that she has fallen for a hunk from Scotland. He is Colin, played by Kevin McKidd. Instead of telling Hannah that he is the guy she needs, Tom plays along with the request. That gives the writers room for one-liners about Tom’s being “gay” and Tom teased and advised by his buddies on the basketball court. That’s after an allegedly hilarious scene in which we observe Hannah at work painting testicles on a still, an image that is set up (Ho! Ho! Ho!) to resemble fellatio.
You might wonder whether any sane, self-respecting fellow would agree to be maid of honor at a wedding in the groom’s native country, but that sets up more lame jokes centering on a rivalry between Tom and the woman who should have his esteemed spot. Oh yes, there’s even a brief scene in which we see Tom in drag.
Add to this collision a finale in which Tom hops a steed and heads for the church just in time to fly through the front door and onto the aisle.
Help. Someone tell me I did not bear witness to this travesty, this preposterous excuse to get a popular TV star into a leading role.
If you want to see a movie with the same kind of plot, please rent “Say Anything,” Cameron Crowe’s 1989 classic comedy in which John Cusack (a bona fide leading man) also tries to recapture a lost love. It features a memorable scene with Cusack and buddies as they advise him, tease him and swoon over the girls they have lost. I would not be surprised if the screenwriters tried in vain to copy Crowe’s film, along with their efforts to reprise the mood of the overrated “My Best Friend’s Wedding.”
I wish I could be kinder to “Made of Honor” by stating that it is a harmless escapade. But once more, I would stand accused of telling a fib. If anything, movies like this are dangerous. Their success, often based on ads, only ensures that accountants will demand more of the same.