Let me ask you something …
• How about including in the orientation for freshman state legislators one or two classes in how to walk without losing your balance with your hands restrained behind your back?
• If DA David Soares gets blamed by his opponent for a purported jump in Albany County crime, why should Soares not get credit for a drastic decrease in serious crimes a couple of years ago in Orlando (5/2/12 Orlando Sentinel) after the DA doggedly pursued bad guys in central Florida just prior to that time?
• So why does the word “deckchairs” keep coming to mind when hearing of budget desperation in Schenectady and elsewhere?
• What about it: think Clint Eastwood might stop by and give a troublesome davenport of mine a good talking-to?
• Now that the Dodgers have acquired one-third of the Red Sox lineup, including Adrian Gonzalez, one of baseball’s best, any chance those laid back LA fans might even remain in their seats beyond the sixth inning?
• Be honest, was I the only one pulling for those silly gooses in the Senate and Assembly to keep their noses clean and make it to the end of the year without a sex or stealing scandal — so they might pick up their long overdue raises — and then, BOOM, we get one of each with four months to go?
• No ill will toward his dowdy dad or his prim and proper sibling, but wouldn’t you give your Diamonique tiara to see that crazy and wild Harry crowned king?
• When the real thing, as in Neil Armstrong, dies, doesn’t that make all of us wish that we had been a lot more careful in using the word “hero” all these years?
• Really, are we to take seriously the lefty scratchings of a wing-nut like actress Ellen Barkin who tweeted that she agreed with those who, referring to delegates at the RNC, wanted Hurricane Isaac to “wash every pro-life, anti-education, anti-woman, xenophobic, gay-bashing, racist SOB right into the ocean?”
• Now that Boor de France Lance Armstrong has waved the white flag, how much longer can it last, this American obsession with cycling that has in its grips oh, I dunno, maybe 212 or 273 sports fans?
• Wait just a minute there, kids, which is worse: Saying stupid things about rape (Rep. Todd Akin, the Republicans’ headache) or believing that you can actually denigrate or humiliate at will another human being, a female (denied, of course, by Assemblyman Vito Lopez, source of Democratic agita)?
• Might there be something screwy about Norwegian justice when that nationalist fanatic gets 21 years in prison for the massacre of 77 people and smiling, tells the judge he wishes he killed more (that’s about 99 days’ confinement for each life and, sorry folks, ain’t nothin’ humorous about this one)?
• Am I missing something here, having stood many, many years ago on the shoreline of the Sea of Galilee and having felt absolutely no urge whatsoever to disrobe and go skinny-dipping (and I was still drinking back then)?
• Just a thought, but instead of making taxpayers foot the bill for a lawmaker’s sexual harassment — $103,000 in hush money paid by the Assembly to alleged victims in L’affaire Lopez — why not deduct any cash settlements from the rogue’s pension benefits?
• As a degenerate devotee of stogies myself, it pains me to ask my fellow smokers: Why do you still not understand that the anti-smoking war is over and we are the losers (Schenectady City Council bans parks’ puffing)?
• What about renaming it the “Dozen States of America,” given that the remaining 38 are so red or so blue that they will garner scant campaign attention or cash unless there is serious slippage in the numbers?