Feeling the sting of rejection? Itching to get even with an ex? The San Francisco Zoo is offering the burned and spurned masses the chance to “adopt” a hissing cockroach or giant scorpion in honor of their special ex-someone for Valentine’s Day.
The zoo is highlighting two of its less-desirable inhabitants through the adopt-an-animal program that is usually used to raise money for the care of more cuddly or attractive creatures, such as penguins, lions and pandas. It has a Valentine’s special comparing the creepy characteristics of Madagascar hissing cockroaches and the giant hairy scorpions native to the Southwest U.S. to the ways of heart-breaking mammals with two legs.
“These invertebrates are aggressive, active, and alarmingly nocturnal. Much like your low-life ex, they are usually found in and around low-elevation valleys where they dig elaborate burrows or ‘caves,’ ” the zoo says on its promotion page for the desert scorpion. “Also just like you-know-who, when a suitable victim wanders by, the scorpion grabs the doomed creature with its pinchers and stings the prey … Charming.”
For $50 and up, donors can adopt a scorpion and have the zoo send a certificate and stuffed stinger to the person who inspired the adoption. The cockroach valentine that the zoo says represents “the detritus of your love life” costs $25.
“With a little luck, this generous donation will release your bad love life karma so that you never have to encounter a cockroach again,” the zoo said.
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