In 15 handwritten lines, Herman Robinson on Dec. 10, 2013 attempted to explain why he was killing himself.
“For six yrs,” the note reads, “I been rapping [sic] her and once I got her pregnant then killed the baby.”
It was that note, prosecutors say, that touched off a wide-ranging investigation into Robinson that led to his indictment and trial on child rape and baby murder charges.
Its exact contents had not been released until Monday, when Judge Michael Coccoma turned back a last-ditch effort from Robinson’s defense to keep it out of his Schenectady County Court trial.
Prosecutors contend Robinson wrote the note and tried to kill himself after his victim informed him the years of abuse he’d visited upon her would end.
The admission of the note ended the prosecution’s case against him. The defense called no witnesses. Closing arguments are expected today.
Police discovered the note in a bedroom at his residence on Lenox Road in Schenectady. They’d been called by someone concerned he was trying to end his life. Police and paramedics found Robinson unresponsive in his car and worked to save his life. He had intentionally overdosed on pain killers and was near death when help arrived.
The note was left in plain view in a bedroom. Within hours, police had made contact with the young woman referenced in the note.
That woman, then 18 and in college, confirmed everything in it. According to the woman: Robinson had abused her for years. He’d also fathered a child with her, instructed her to hide the pregnancy and then watched as she secretly gave birth March 11, 2010. He then killed the newborn baby girl and took of the tiny body away in a trash bag.
Robinson’s note, prosecutors said, was the first anyone but Robinson and the girl knew of the infant’s existence.
The note, hand-written on a spiral-bound notebook, takes up about half the page. Larger handwriting takes up the second half in only a few words.
It begins: “All my life I done nothing but [expletive] up, made the wrong choices.” The “worst of them all,” the note continued, was that he chose to molest the girl.
After putting the abuse and murder of the baby on paper, Robinson continued: “I don’t know what I was thinking. I let my lust overcome rational thought.”
He continued that he only blamed himself. He apologized “for everything” and asked for forgiveness.
“Don’t cry for me,” the body of the note concludes. “Burn my body a dump it in a sewer cause it’s what I deserve.”
The note ends with brief words stretched out over the second half of the page.
“I’m sorry for all I’ve done, especially to [redacted] good bye”
As police discovered the note and realized its contents, paramedics and medical personnel were on their way to saving his life.
Prosecuting the case is Tracey Brunecz. Robinson is represented by attorney Sven Paul. Presiding over the trial and deciding the verdict without a jury is Coccoma. Once he reaches a verdict, he has said he will give a day’s notice before announcing it.