“Christmas is sleigh bells. Christmas is sharing … Christmas is caring.”
For Julian and Ricky, Christmas is boozing. Christmas is thievery. Christmas is prison.
“The perfect Christmas for me is waking up Christmas morning with a ton of cash,” said Julian, the scheming mastermind of television’s “Trailer Park Boys,” who bring their raucous and raunchy “Dear Santa Claus Tour” to the Palace Theatre in Albany on Tuesday.
Grim tidings are planned for the 8 p.m. show. The boys, stars of a Canadian “mockumentary” series that airs on Netflix, will offer blue collar and no-collar insights for the season of light.
Trailer Park Boys’ Dear Santa Claus Tour
WHEN: 8 p.m. Tuesday
WHERE: Palace Theatre, 19 Clinton Ave., Albany
HOW MUCH: $55-$35
MORE INFO: 465-3334, www.palacealbany.com
Series stars, the actors John Paul Tremblay and Robb Wells, handled press interviews for the tour in character: the criminal Julian and goofball Ricky, respectively.
“You just got to scam people,” said Julian. “It’s the best time of the year to make money, because everybody is spending money. They’re racking up their Visas, everybody spends more money than they have. If I can get a chunk of that, I’m happy.”
Merry Christmas. The two dopes have been around since 1998, when the short black-and-white film “One Last Shot” showed up. The feature-length “Trailer Park Boys” movie followed in 1999. The guys — along with pal Bubbles — got their own TV series on Canada’s Showcase network in 2001. It ran seven seasons, through 2007; the revived series has been on Netflix since 2014.
Ricky is looking forward to Albany.
“Apparently, you guys live in the North Pole, which is cool because Santa Claus lives there,” he said. “I’m going to apologize for sucker-punching him last year. Hopefully, he’ll bring me some gifts. That’s my plan.”
Julian just hopes the city’s cash is as cold as the city’s rum.
“I’m going up there for the money, man,” he said. “I’m not going to sugarcoat this, I’m going there to make some money. If we don’t make enough money, we’re going to jail.”
Ricky said his mentor is serious. “Tell people who are coming not to park their cars too close,” he said, “because Julian is usually breaking into them during the intermission.”
Down and dirty
The show is big on down-and-out, down-and-dirty humor. Bubbles tries to spread the true meaning of Christmas to the world, but Julian’s schemes for fortune and Ricky’s pursuit of the one true Santa scotch the plan. Trailer park supervisor Jim Lahey, a world-class boozer himself, and Jim’s cheeseburger-loving, shirtless sidekick Randy are other clowns along for the ride.
“It’s gonna be a lot of fun,” Ricky said. “Get a buzz on, we’re gonna have a lot of crowd interaction, people coming up on stage and hanging out. It’s just a good time; hopefully you’ll laugh and party your ass off.”
Coming buzzed is no joke — “It will make the show better,” Julian said — as long as drinking fans are using bus or taxi services..
Ricky and Julian are sort of OK with the schmaltz and sentiment that comes during the Christmas season.
“Sometimes it’s cool to hang out with your family, but it’s not always a good time,” Ricky said. “You can’t be totally real because it freaks people out.”
It’s not that big a deal. Ricky said he generally wakes up with memory loss the next day anyway.
Ricky has a fervent wish for Christmas, even though he doesn’t know what “fervent” means.
“I’m wishing for peace, for everybody to stop with these crazy shootings,” he said. “It’s ridiculous, it’s scaring me, man, and it’s pissing me off these days.”
Julian’s wish is less altruistic, another word lost on the Trailer Park Boys.
“I’m just hoping everybody comes, man,” he said. “I’ll be selling things on stage, gonna make some money.”
Back home, Bubbles has put up a giant tree in the park, loaded with too many lights. The guys are looking forward to a mellow holiday season, far away from the local Iron Bar Hotel.
But even jail cells can be cozy corners during the holidays.
“When we go back to jail, we’re treated like kings,” Julian said. “We get extra desserts, more time out in the yard and everybody thinks we’re kind of like heroes.”
Reach Gazette reporter Jeff Wilkin at 395-3124 or at [email protected] or @jeffwilkin1 on Twitter. His blog is at www.dailygazette.com/weblogs/wilkin.
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