Let me ask you something …
• And who takes home the Emmy: ABC News and its star investigative reporter, Brian Ross, informing America — erroneously — that the Colorado movie-house shooter might be a Tea Party member by the same name, or ABC News taking out of context words by the mother of the real shooter, making it appear that she acknowledged her son was indeed the bad guy, when all she was saying was, yes, the network had reached the “right person” on the phone, meaning her?
• Hey, I’m serious, don’t those Chinese-made duds for the U.S. Olympic team look like leftovers from the filming of “The Great Gatsby?”
• Get the feeling — from Schenectady City Hall and elsewhere — that we’re about five years from a gigantic fiscal calamity that will make us reconsider the very essence and non-affordability of some basic municipal services now taken for granted like cops and firefighters?
• And what about those solons in Washington carping about the Asian-fabricated uniforms; how many of those sanctimonious so-and-sos then went outside and jumped into a Nissan Maxima made in Smyrna, Tenn., or an American nameplate car assembled in Ontario?
• What’s the verdict, vast left-wing conspiracy that includes ABC News or just getting-lousier-all-the-time reporting?
• Would someone please inform that local sportscaster that announcing the names of the win-place-show horses at Saratoga without giving the prices is not only useless, but also embarrassing and even a little annoying for viewers who may have bet that race (nah, on second thought, don’t tell him, OK)?
• So what about it, d’ya think that Tony Robbins guy is sitting in a back office laughing his tush off at all those people who actually tried walking on hot coals as part of Robbins’ self-improvement regimen?
• If you had Andrew Cuomo breathing down your neck — as did the nice people at NYRA — would you not say to the maintenance guys, just prior to opening day, “Hey, what’s the deal, we do have water in the rest rooms, don’t we, and that marvelous Wi-Fi service we’ve been crowing about, that’s all set to go, right?”
• Next time you run into Robert DeNiro, would you ask Bobby, as we all call him, if those 45 percent Thruway truck toll hikes coming to a town near you in September are another example of New York’s new, pro-business slant he trumpets in his voice-overs?
• Is it fair for Water Slide World to bar me from the park just because of that one time when I slid out onto Route 9?
• Given how really, really tiny the Higgs Boson is, like Billy Barty tiny, might there be concern that we could lose it again?
• Just a thought, but would Aussie golfer Adam Scott be better off if he fired caddie Steve “The Thug” Williams and put Dr. Henry Heimlich on his bag (free maneuvers, anyone)?
• Oh, you nutty Gothamites, you: Your mayor, who was found even before Higgs Boson, tells you to nix the Big Gulp, so what do you do? You spend $2.50 to buy New York City tap water in a bottle (no, that is not a colored bottle).
• How can the Michael LoPorto “not guilty” verdicts in Troy — all 22 pronouncements of those exhilarating words — fail to confirm your faith in the jury system, if not your faith in the Founding Fathers, not to mention your faith in the Boy Scout oath?
• Why, why, why? Why do they keep reporting that Albany lawmakers are expected, right after the election, to raise legislative salaries for the first time in 13 years, when Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver keeps assuring us there have been no such discussions? Why, why?
• And the Emmy goes to whom … ???
John McLoughlin is a freelance columnist and a veteran Capital Region journalist now at NewsChannel 13. Opinions expressed in his column are his own and not necessarily those of the newspaper. Reach him at JMcLoughlin@WNYT.com.